How to Improve Self Esteem
Learning how to improve self esteem is a very popular topic in the world of self help. There are thousands of books on the subject. And I’ve probably read all of them!
The problem with most of these products out there is that they don’t really solve anything. Instead, they trick the reader into believing they are changed. The text makes the reader feel all good about themselves for a few days.
But all it was is “pep talk”.
After a few days, the effects wear out and the reader realizes nothing really changed.
I’m going to give you some tips and resources that actually worked for me and changed who I was and how I felt about myself.
What Is Self Esteem?
I believe self esteem to be, simply, how we feel about ourselves.
It’s a simple definition with a lot of weight on us. If we have a low self esteem it can drastically affect all areas of our lives. For me, it was constantly putting me on a self fulfilling negative run. I would doubt myself and the doubting was so strong I eventually failed.
The key to fixing the way we feel about ourselves is to rid ourselves of what is causing us to have low self esteem.
For some people, not having a job can lead to low self esteem. For others it could be not having a relationship. And for others it could be not having friends.
It’s almost like a “catch-22″.
If you don’t have any friends you’ll probably have low self esteem for that fact. And having low self esteem will make others hesitant about being your friend.
There is a solution and easy way to learn how to improve self esteem.
The reason you have low self esteem isn’t actually because you have no friends, no relationship,or anything of that sort.
It’s because of how you THINK and FEEL about not having something.
If you were in complete acceptance you would not feel low self esteem. You would accept everything for what it is and realize the steps needed to change this.
The key to changing your low self esteem is changing the way you think about everything.
I could tell you that to change low self esteem about not having a job you should get a job. But when you get that job are you going to be super confident? Probably not. You’ll probably find something else to have low self esteem about.
This has everything to do with the way you think about things.
So, the key to having high self esteem is to have strong control over your thoughts.
Negative Thoughts have very strong effects on how we feel and ultimately our self esteem. Thinking about one bad event or belief about oneself (i have no friends) over and over again for months has a strong negative impact on ones esteem.
To change this, you must work on controlling what you think about.
The Super Mind Evolution program focuses exactly on this. It sounded funny when I first got into this “what you think about becomes your reality” but the more I read into it the more it made sense.
Everything that you have in your life is, for the most part, because you thought about it.
Zen Approach to the “Self”
I follow more of a “zen” approach to self help and realizing who we really are. I won’t go too into it right here as it’s very different from western beliefs…but there are very helpful tips from this philosophy that can help people.
One such tip is to realize that you are not your mind.
Try this for a second. Stop thinking. Get rid of all thoughts.Just sit still and listen to your breath. If a thought comes in ignore it, let it finish it’s sentence and continue with the silence.
It’s hard isn’t it?
But did you notice something. When you weren’t thinking of anything you were still there. Still aware of everything around you. But it was much more peaceful than with all the thoughts.
When you realize that the thoughts you have all day are not really who you are, an ease and calmness comes. You realize that all this worrying and anxiety isn’t who you are. It’s just the way your mind is thinking.
Our minds are crazy little things. If we don’t have control over our minds then we are basically letting this crazy little thing rule our lives.
If you want to learn how to get rid of all these negative thoughts and learn how to improve self esteem, check out the Super Mind Evolution. Another great resource I recommend is any book by Eckhart Tolle. His stuff literally changed the way I view the world.
